How to Pick Up a Guy at the Bar

I get a lot of questions from women about approaching a guy at a bar.

Is it good? Is it bad? Should I approach him? How do I get his attention?

Let me keep this simple. No matter who you are, it can be nerve racking when you want to approach someone you are interested in. Ladies, the most important thing to understand when you want to get the attention of a guy is to use this opportunity as a filtration process.

Do you really want to go on a date with a clueless dip-shit or do you want to find a man who knows how to be a man?

Just because he isn’t approaching you doesn’t mean he isn’t a man but if you give him every reason and opportunity to approach you and he still doesn’t, this is a good sign that he is not someone you want to waste your time with.

The majority of the time men aren’t approaching you would most likely be because you aren’t approachable. You are on your cell phone, you are surrounded by all your girlfriends, your arms are crossed, you refuse to make eye contact, or, when you do, you glare instead of smile. There are a lot of unintentional signs that you are putting off that make you seem closed and unapproachable. Does this mean a real man wouldn’t approach you anyway. No, but, then again, if your body language is closed off and cold, maybe that is the way you are and who wants to date someone like that?


So how do you seem more open and approachable?  Here are a few simple tips that allow for the man to still be a man while you give him a few clues that you are interested.


1. Smile. Nothing feels better than a beautiful woman looking your direction and instead of shying away, they lock eyes with you and smile. It is like the sun coming out from behind the clouds.


2. If you are with a group of girlfriends, step away from them for a minute or two. Approaching one woman is hard enough, approaching a group of women who will stop dead in their tracks and size you up and down…that is not the most inviting environment.


3. Ask for help…doesn’t matter if you are in a grocery store or needing a drink at a bar. Yes, you are capable of reaching the top shelf. Yes, the bartender is probably going to pay attention to you before they would pay attention to him, but who cares. “Hey, can you hand me a napkin?” “Hey, the bartender doesn’t seem to be paying attention to me, can you get her for me?” We want to be your hero, so let us.


The key here is to see how they act after you make it safe. See if dumb-dumb picks up on your subtle clues and then stay open. If he doesn’t pick up on your hints, says something rude or offensive, or just seems clueless, odds are it’s all downhill from there. Walk away. Sometimes the real men need a little kickstart, but we don’t need help.  Be approachable and never settle.


Now, go get his attention.



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