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Does Love Exist for You?
 

A recurring theme I see in people’s relationship problems is fragmentation. They are not acting and believing in the whole. Designing and building a better dating life is based on believing in bigger and more holistic ideas. How you view and interact with love is the most essential in finding it. 

I have gone in-depth into the 90-10 Rule before. Typically, I’ll sit down with a client and they will almost always wax sorrowfully about their single status. But, then I ask how much of them really wants a relationship. Without fail, most all of them will say 90 percent of them is completely ready for a relationship.

But then there is that small trifling 10 percent, buried deep within the subconscious, that is secretly hesitant. It may break down to 5 percent of being fearful and 5 percent of that is loving being single. Whatever the case may be, that 10 percent easily outweighs the 90. The sum of that equation always equals the same result: They don’t want really want a  relationship at the moment. Obliviously, you should not proceed half-heartedly. Only act as a 100% unified, heart-mind.

Another common and similar myth is that just because you aren’t in love currently, or that you have been single for an extended period of time, that love will never exist for you. You can call it recency bias, but what it really is, is self-sabotage. It is the classic condition of missing the forest for the tree in front of you. Just because the overhead light is not currently on in the room you occupy, does not mean that electricity does not exist.

From the man discovered electricity, Nikola Tesla, puts it perfectly: “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration.”

Another common dysfunctional belief is that love is confined, it is only for a certain context, for a certain time and place. Having a sexual partner or a romantic encounter is not absolutely essentially tied to love. Love is far bigger than those things.

Love is something you participate in and is available to you at all times. It deeply transcends a physical act. Love the moment and the people in it. Love the people you are with in any given moment. Even if it is a terrible date, or being stuck in traffic, or wrestling a grizzly bear, seek the love in the moment.

This goes far beyond flowery self-help. Accepting love is an exercise in daring creativity. It’s what Rosa Parks and Nelson Mandela fought for. Love is a very daring and ballsy force. Love is tough as nails. A force to be reckoned with, yet a wonderful ecstatic emotion, and tender unifier. 

It is very scary opening yourself up to receiving love. If you have been wounded in the past, like most of us have, it will be even more difficult. But it is the only way to complete the energy circuit. You need to open yourself up to experience it in order to pass it along to others. When you do this, that is when you find romance far quicker than others.

It is like when I tell people to envision what their ideal looking guy or girl would look like, they tend to start seeing them pop up everywhere. You are already primed and ready to go. You have the growth mindset vs. static mindset. You are operating out of abundance rather than scarcity. 

Typically, the high-achievers will have a love for a life that is truly exceptional. You could even call it a lust for life. Don’t just confine love to a place in time or a specific location. Find love all around you instead, and it will find its way to you. Believe in the whole.

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